We shouldn't get our kilts in a twist

I see that some sections of the Scottish meeja are getting all steamed up about the English Democrats posters which are supposedly insulting to Scots and allegedly racist. Quick frankly I see it as a quite amusing attempt, by a fringe party and it's candidate for London Mayor, to gain free publicity. What they quite conveniently do forget is that London and Londoners are hugely subsidised by the rest of the UK and, of course, think the world revolves round London - it doesn't!

Cayman Went*

The story in yesterday's Guardian about a bloke walking into an aquarium in Norway and walking out with a cayman alligator had me hooting with laughter at the thought of someone nonchalantly strolling out with a bloody big 'gator tucked underneath his arm and nobody noticing.

It also gives me the opportunity to repeat the "Modern Urban Myth" about the old style North Lanarkshire Labour Councillor who said in full council: "Folk have been making allegations about how we run this council and I ken who the alligators are."

Also gives the chance to make the alligator sandwich joke............

*This post heading should bring a smile of recognition to anyone from the West of Scotland and leave the rest of the world gently scratching their heads.

Thanks Norman

Another friend, Norman Fraser has been in touch with details of this interestingly titled book and reviews thereof.
Enjoy.

Bear faced cheek

I saw this story on the BBC news website and just had to share it - please bear with me!

Temptation was too great for the bear
The taste of honey was just too tempting for a bear in Macedonia, which repeatedly raided a beekeeper's hives.
Now it has a criminal record after a court found it guilty of theft and criminal damage.

But there was an empty dock in the court in the city of Bitola and no handcuffed bear, which was convicted in its absence.

The case was brought by the exasperated beekeeper after a year of trying vainly to protect his beehives.

For a while, he kept the animal away by buying a generator, lighting up the area, and playing thumping Serbian turbo-folk music.

But when the generator ran out of power and the music fell silent, the bear was back and the honey was gone once more.

"It attacked the beehives again," said beekeeper Zoran Kiseloski.

Because the animal had no owner and belonged to a protected species, the court ordered the state to pay for the damage to the hives - around $3,500 (£1,750; 2,238 euros).

The bear, meanwhile, remains at large - somewhere in Macedonia.
By Paddy Clark of BBC News

Be glad that you're not an Ethiopian banker

News today that the Ethiopian national Bank is to inspect all the gold in it's vaults after the discovery that some "gold" ingots were actually gold plated steel.

It seems that the problem only came to light when the Ethiopian bank sent some ingots to South Africa who promptly sent them back saying that they were fake.
A number of arrests have since been made including a gold trader, officials from the National Bank and officials from the Ethiopian Geological Survey.

The fraud is expected to have cost the country millions of dollars and there are serious worries that considerably more of the Bank's reserves may be fake.

I hope they're having a wee shufti in the Bank of England's vaults.

Another cracker from BBC Scotland's website

See for yourselves:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/tayside_and_central/7234616.stm

Is this humerous?

Look, apologies up front if anyone is offended by this post, but sometimes my humour is deeply dark and, yes, I couldn't help smiling at this story from the BBC Scotland news website.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/edinburgh_and_east/7213734.stm

Ripped off from the Herald's Diary

The (Glasgow) Herald's Diary column, penned by Ken Smith, Can usually be relied on to produce a smile even on the dreichest Scottish Monday morning. Today was no exception and I unreservedly pinch this joke from today's column:

"The latest strategy by Democrat presidential hopeful Barack Obama to attract the Irish vote in New York - he's adding an apostrophe to his surname after the O."